“I would tell them you’re forthright. Don’t use the word blunt.”
This came from my therapist after I told him someone powerful in LA said I’m too blunt and need to edit myself for their comfort.
Of course, this came after they told me everyone tells them the same thing.
Don’t usurp the King or Queen’s ego.
Speaking of a burning, let me be blunt, er, forthright about something.
We’re all suffering today from something nobody is impervious to. The clue as to what it is lies in what I hear in my practice all day:
“She never listens!”
“Where is the loyalty?!”
“How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”
“It’s right there. The numbers are clear. Why don’t they green light the project when there’s clearly an audience?!”
“He/she/they don’t see me.”
“I feel like there has to be something more. Something…different.”
CONNECTION.
WE’RE NOT CONNECTING.
It’s not that we don’t feel seen or understood. That’s surface mumbo-jumbo.
Our egos have convinced us we don’t have the time or money to re-learn how to connect.
I do one thing well in my private practice: I demand presence.
I do it so you know it’s what you deserve. I listen with no distractions. I connect to you—at your core. Why? Not because it’s my job. Well, yes. It is my job. But come on—after 12 years in private practice, we can now say this is a calling.
Connection is a skill that can be re-learned. It’s going in and then connecting outwards.
See, today, we’re very transactional.
We see each other as a means to an end. The culprit is our nasty, negative egos.
The nasty negative ego does the following:
Moralizes.
Declares what’s right versus wrong.
Judges (we all do, but nasty negative ego makes it a blood sport).
Lives for a juicy teaching moment, especially in public. More shame, the better.
Rants about values and loyalty. Again, the goal is to do it in public or online.
Lacks patience.
Ghosts. Conflict-avoidant to a toxic degree.
Declares status in overt or passive-aggressive ways.
If this reminds you of anyone close to you in your personal or professional life, then something has to change.
To be blunt, that person is you.
You can’t do it alone. I tried. I’m one of the most self-sufficient men you’ll ever meet.
Today, I have a team of pros who help me nearly daily. It took me time to find them since I had to find people who tamed their nasty, negative egos.
I’ve tamed mine and do it every day, all day long. It’s a work in deliberate progress.
2025 is coming. Take time in the Great Pause before the New Year to find new people who will help you change. Learn the art of reconnection as a life skill. It doesn’t happen; we can’t learn it from a book.
If this work intrigues you, let’s talk. There is no means to an end with me. I have no expectations of you hiring me. You can ask anyone. I don’t push or sell hard.
And yet, after 12 years of this work, I can assure you, I’m among the best connectors in this biz of knowing thyself. It’s what I live and breathe. This work saved me. I can help you to find yourself, too.
Whether you work with me or someone else, this right now is a massive thing in our culture. We are not connecting because we’re under the illusion that we don’t have the time in a fast-paced world.
Don’t believe the illusion. Wake up to the truth. You have to make the time because it’s what you deserve, at the very least.
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